Finally - a third team match report!

Saturday 22nd January 2011 – Camp Hill III’s 0 v 28 Bournville III’s

Unfortunately Camp Hill III’s losing streak continues. That’s 5 from the last 6 with our 1 win being a tight as you like 1 pointer over Old Ed’s II’s. On the upside though the overall performance wasn’t too bad.

Things weren’t looking too good on arrival, despite a relatively bright sky the pitches were deceptively hard, so a call off was looking on the cards. The 1’s were given their marching orders, so surely the III’s was only a matter of time? The ref decided to give it go, so game on. To be fair, the pitch was nothing like as bad as the tundra we played on over at Yardley & District last season, or at least two thirds of it wasn’t. To my dismay I found my wing to be in the tree shade and still rock hard. Oh well, it’s not like the ball’s ever going to go that far so there shouldn’t be any problem!!

The numbers were a bit more sensible than the previous week, only four or five subs, a surprise as the Vets was called off.

After Rich had announced all the Flemings that were participating, the rest of us got a look in. The pack weight must have been at least 50% Fleming, even though the chief inspector had apparently lost 7 pounds since undertaking his weightwatchers program! Big Jack making his debut in the seniors was a welcome sight, well done Jack. There was a noticeably poorer water service in your absence.

The game…..

A relatively even affair in general, I would say our forwards had the best of the scrum, and our lineout was much better than of late. So, how can 28-0 be an even game? Well, the answer is simple… speed. They scored 28 points courtesy of a couple of speed demons along with some tit slapping assists on our part. Talking about tit slapping, we’ll come on to the scrum halves later!

All of the scoring was done in the first half, but despite the points difference it had been a pretty good 40 (Having said that, I thought I’d scored twice in the second half when I found myself mounting Paul Moores doggy style two rucks in a row!).

We had a few try opportunities, one for Alex left of the sticks stopped just shy of the line, one lightning fast dart to the corner by me getting taken into touch about 3 or 4 metres out, and a typically bullish run from Bloxy in the far corner again getting stopped 3 or 4 from the line. Other than the tries I don’t recall them really getting any other chances. Plenty of ball around the pitch for all which was a pleasant surprise. So to sum up the first half, it was a civil but firm affair with pace making the difference.

Unfortunately the second half didn’t match the first in any sense. They seemed to have lost their incisive attacking and we seemed to have lost our discipline.

A double sending off fairly early on resulted in both sides struggling to maintain a flow. The two scrum halves were off, and to be honest I can only think that the ref got fed up with the verbal more than the event. Some typical scrum halfery occurred, and then Bloxy gave him a little shove. What then ensued was all a bit silly, the Bourneville scrum half went to ground like a felled oak and unsurprisingly his team mates took umbridge. A mellee of 30 came together and fairly quickly sorted themselves out, just one or two decided a little more afters were required, but that was soon sorted out. Meanwhile Bloxy and the oak were still tittle tattling instead of listening to the ref so he got fed up and told them to ‘go and box over there’! Red, Red, 14 a side. We got going again and then stopped again, another bit of grumpiness from the chief inspector (he is getting very grumpy lately!) but no need for action from the ref. The game then continued to under achieve in comparison to the first half.

A long trudge back to the changing room talking about what might have been, but we’ll have to wait until next week for some better news. Bloxy hadn’t cheered up much, he had his Pedro the miner face from the drubbing at DK’s back again. A day best forgotten.

As the later events of the day unfolded (Damo’s leaving do) things improved measurably. Jacko drank half a yard for his debut, Mick from the 1’s got a full one for his birthday, and Damo got one for the obvious. Jacko turned an extremely deep red and found some superb expletives to dish around! There was also some extremely dodgy dancing, Forest was the double of Wayne Sleep!

It was a good night and hopefully a nice send off for Damo. A shame he didn’t get a run out, but understandable. We all wish you the very best for your adventure to the land of the Maori, Sauvignon Blanc, and great Pinot Noir. At least when they’re filming ‘The Hobbit’ they’ll have a natural stand in for Gollum! (PS. Damo, I’m sorry to tell you that my offer to step into your shoes with the micros has been kai-boshed. Apparently Saturday is rugby day, and Sunday is home day, a delicate balance that must be maintained!)

The schedule says Birmingham & Solihull for next week, so that’ll be replaced with someone else. Given our current run of form, and the desperate need for a win, can I suggest we put a call in to Birmingham Model Painters VII’s!!!

Awards,

Squeeeeeler – The Bourneville Oak
Twaaaaaaaat – Should be Bloxy, but he was so down in the dumps, so… Bloxy! (No prisoners taken!)
TiiiiiiitSlaaaap – All the backs for tit slapping the same guy on the same run for the last try

Laters Folks,

Pete