Friday 11th February 2011
7.30pm Kick Off @ Evesham RFC
Evesham 3XV (12) v The Busby 50th Birthday Invitational XV (17)
Well, after moans, groans, and barrages of abuse from certain parties, albeit somewhat 2-weeks late, here it is!...Busby’s Birthday Match Report.
Now, before we start, for those of us that are, on the odd occasion, handed/cajoled/railroaded into writing Match reports, you’ll understand the strains it places on us, as we attempt to juggle our Professional, Home and very small social lives in the vague hope of achieving, what some folk refer to as a “life balance”
I know the report is late, and, I know it should have been done sooner, but, for the information of certain members of the readership, unlike you, some of us have Jobs to do, some of us have a Family to support, and some of us would rather just go to The Pub!
So, let’s start with a bit of honest shall we?
In the main, the major complainant on the lateness of this report was a certain Vice President of well know Abrasive Company with responsibility for Europe, The Middle East and Africa (aka Bloxy). Now come on!!!...talk about over selling yourself!! We all know that Bloxy is actually a Sales Rep covering Alum Rock, Handworth, and Highgate, which, I ‘spose if not dissimilar?
I’ve also heard that there were also muted rumblings from former 3XV authors, who, let’s be fair haven’t submitted a report since Pussy was a Kitten! so you lot can shut it too!
(note to Karate Kid - none of the above directed at you Mate, as I know you have nothing better to do than write Match Reports, and they’re very much appreciated!)
Anyway, back to Busby’s Birthday Bash.
If you’re expecting some sort of in-depth match report with analysis and accompanying stats, you’re going to be very disappointed.
To be perfectly honest, I missed the first 15 minutes as I was in the Bar, I missed the next 10 due to the fact I was engaged in an interesting conversation with some local 3 toed knuckle dragger extolling the virtues of interbreeding around the Vale of Evesham, and the last bit of the first half was spent chasing Count around trying to get him to buy a round.
Second half started with me still chasing Count, so that took care of 15 minutes!, another 15 pass by as I chaperoned Busby’s Daughter (Katie) and fended off the amorous advances of Camp Hill U17’s, plus one or two more Senior players, who really should know better! And, the final 10 was taken up with a very pleasant chat with Former Camp Hill 3XV, England U18/U20, Worcester and now Gloucester Back-Row, Matt Cox. (all of the bit is about Matt Cox is actually true!)
Rumour has it that Busby is quite good Mates with Mr. Cox, in fact, it’s probably fair to say that “Buzz” thinks of him as one of his nearest and dearest friends, but, truth be told, Mr. Cox IS a Back Row Forward, and, as Count will tell you, Forwards are not the most intelligent of creatures, and it subsequently transpired, that Busby doesn’t know him at all, and Mr. Cox was actually on his way to Sixways to watch The England Saxons, and simply got lost, so, just headed to the first ground he could find with some Floodlights on!
Anyway, I digress!
The arrangements for Busby’s birthday bash have been on-going for a few months now, and at this point, we should say a quick Thanks to our Chairman of Selectors for paying a rag-tag bunch of mis-fits of dubious character to turn up for Busby’s Invitational XV.
Let’s be quite honest here, if Rich Hudson hadn’t parted with his hard earned cash, nobody would have turned up.....at the “end of the shift”, while he is without doubt a fantastic Club Member, nobody actually likes Busby!
As you would expect with any Coach trip, the rendezvous was The Club for pre-Match refreshments; and slowly but surely they arrived. In they strode, the great, the good, the not so great, and the Window Lickers.
Busby’s only instruction when he heard that The Club would be open was “make everyone leaves in time for a 7.00 kick off, and make sure they don’t get p****d”.....Well, as you’d guess, we failed on both counts!
We eventually climb on to the” Special Bus”, with 1, or, was it 2 bottles of Port, and the obligatory crates of Bud, and were greeted by our very hospitable Driver.
Is it me?, or are all “Coachy’s” from the same gene pool?...all of them appear to have shaven heads, earrings, a tattoo of a Swallow on their Necks, and all speak like Chris Triv?
Busby’s U17’s, Forest and Kimbo take the back seat, and belt out a rather poor rendition the Journey/Cast of Glee’s “don’t stop belivin’”, and then a quick stop on the A435 to pick up Ruffy (Snr), and before you know, it, we’ve arrived at Evesham RFC.
Team as follows head for the Changing Rooms, rest of us head for the Bar –
Ade Melhuish, Uncle Ellis, The Birthday Boy, Lardy Finnan, Flembo Jnr, Steve Ulliott, PC Milner, Floydy, The VP of Alum Rock, Kimbo, Guesty, Tom, Ruffy (Jnr), Alex, Forest, Andy B, Jake, Johnny Corr, The Frog, Simon The Pieman and Dan Burgess.
As I mentioned earlier, a few of us missed the early encounters as we couldn’t be arsed to leave The Bar, but, eventually, we thought it’d be rude if we didn’t meander out to see what was going on.
On arrival at pitchside, the obvious first question is “what’s the Score”......”we’re winning” Baby Mozza replied......”who scored” we enquired?.....”dunno” was the response!
So, there we are, on a nice night, a game under Floodlights, pint in hand, all Pals together out to celebrate Busby’s half Century.
We scour the pitch for the first sign of The Birthday Boy, and he’s nowhere to be seen!, is this his idea of a joke?, as it turned it out it was!.....as OH how we laughed!!!, in fact I laughed so much, I actually felt a bit of Wee come out.....2 minutes into the game , apparently Busby flopped on a loose ball, and an Evesham player (obviously a Top bloke) decided to Fly Hack his head, with the net result he was off to hospital with a smashed face (actually a cut lip).
I really can’t mention too much about the game, as I genuinely didn’t see much of it for the reasons I mentioned earlier, and in the true tradition of 3XV reports, nobody really gives a rats ass!
I was told that at some point that Evesham had a Man sent off by the rather Officious Ref (Jim Looney) for taking a swipe at little Alex from The U17’s, and Camp Hill Won.
(note – Forest has asked me to let you know that he scored the winning Try – SADDO!)
Game over, the Busby’s Birthday Celebrations (minus Busby) began in earnest. A few beers at Evesham with the opposition, and then back aboard the Special Bus for a short journey to Busby’s local, The Ivy.
If you’ve not had the pleasure of visiting The Ivy, you can find it at -
A quaint little Coaching Inn, set in a lovely rural setting , just a stones’ throw from Long Lartin Prison! The best description I can give, is that it’s unnervingly similar to The Slaughtered Lamp in John Landis’ classic American Werewolf in London.- Pentangles on walls, Sheep Head hanging above the fire, and local Clientele looking as they’ve just come straight out of Long Lartin!
Those slight concerns aside, Andy and his buxom serving wenches fed and watered us extremely well, I don’t think we offended anyone too badly, and I reckon there was only minimal damage for Busby to pay for.
Eventually, (I think around 12.30)to much applause and p**s taking The Birthday Boy arrived, many many versions of “no one likes you you’re a >>>>>” were sung, Busby made a least 3 tearful and heartfelt speeches before, once again the hardened few, boarded the Special Bus to return to The Shirne.
All in all a really great day out.
Once again, cheers to Rich Hudson for sorting it all out, to Baby Mozz for doing a p**s awful job of being Team Manager, and most of all, a special Thanks to The Evesham Player who kicked Buzz in the Gob!....it made our night
Happy Birthday Buzz!