Saturday 16th April 2010
Birmingham Wyvern 4? V 2? Camp Hill III’s
So, the last scheduled game of the season for the III’s and a large star studded cast was guaranteed. I’d decided to give it a miss due to a variety of body parts failing miserably on my aging carcass! And of course an added bonus being that if I’m not playing I don’t have to come up with yet another match report as it seems no one else can be arsed anymore!
Friday night 19:52 hours, a TXT from Rich, clearly a start studded cast was absent so he was scratching around for anyone capable of walking to step up to the plate. Ok, can’t let the fellow down, and surely someone else can write some babbling bullsh**!!
Now, the word ‘Shambles’ has been heard ringing around the III’s changing room on many occasion, and without fail in and around the surroundings of our legendary warm up. But today, oh dear, before we’ve even got to the fixture! Try as he might Rich was short handed, lots of cry offs and no colts because they all got pissed the night before. So with just about 15 for the II’s the III’s were depleted down to 12. Despairingly he handed me the team sheet, said Jacko had sorted a couple of colts, and then announced he was going home to do the washing!
A couple of ring arounds, and we got Chief Inspector Flembo on board, but found one of the ‘couple of colts’ was in the II’s and the other wasn’t up for it. Cancel, or turn up and see if they can lend us a couple? Suckers for punishment, off we went.
Flembo Jnr and Andy Blakemore turned up out of the blue, so we were on, a full 15 at least, oh, hang on, where’s Guesty?
In particularly shambolic style, we’d managed to arrive with no water bottles, and no ball for the warm up. The latter clearly wasn’t going to be a huge problem, but no water for Fu**’s sake!
No need to mention the warm up, standard practice applied. The pre-match rhetoric was as inspirational as it could be considering the shambolic base we were working from, pretty much everyone would have taken a half and then fu**ed off to Sainsburys, however onward we must go.
It was (give or take a couple) the same bunch that had nilled us a few weeks back, so for the sake of pride we needed to come away with something. They are a pretty good unit and should probably be playing our II’s next season.
The start wasn’t great, their kick off and they went straight through Russ’s legs but fortunately bobbled into my hands as stand in full back (Hurry up Guesty). We went back at them and the forwards showed that it wasn’t going to be an easy afternoon for them. The two packs were pretty even all afternoon, but unfortunately their backs had far more pace than we did. Finally Guesty arrived and assumed full back duties. The game to’d and fro’d and in tight play it was close, but once the backs, particularly the two centres, got moving there was little stopping them. Everyone kept at it and we saw out a strong first half still well in contention.
Their second half tactics were clever, if a little unsporting during the latter part of the half. On the kick off they went long and took advantage of the huge bounce effect, after all the ground was like a mid summer African river bed. I gathered 5 in, and kicked to touch, but unfortunately moosed it and it went straight to the centre who ran it in – not a great start to the half. As I recall this was the start of the crazy red indian style war crying. I’m really not sure what that was all about, but it wasn’t really necessary. Perhaps if they’d been stuffing our first team then maybe, but we were more akin to what would traditionally been Camp Hill IV’s.
Back to their tactics… To Guesty and my horror they had come to the conclusion that hoofing it between us at everyone opportunity, and then sending the two centres flying after it screaming “He doesn’t want it” was the way to go. In our defence we covered most of them, but one or two odd bounces put us in trouble. Technically it was a very effective tactic, but when you’re 20 up at this level surely the onus should be on keeping the ball and playing rugby rather than hoofing it down the throats of the 40 somethings and sending the 20 somethings flying in?
The forwards continued to be competitive and a couple of tries were the reward. Flembo Jnr, got one and also kicked well for penalties and conversions.
Hat’s off to the ref who recognised that with only 15 available he didn’t need to make the game any longer than needs be, both halves seemed to go fairly quickly.
The final whistle went, we’d stood our ground but basically we were beaten by a better team.
Ade (The oldest current player!), Dave chef, Darryl, Flembo-3, Gary, Blakemoor-1, Blakemoor-2, Flembo-1, Hackney, Flembo-2, Russ, Noddy, Me, Ash (Darryl’s lad), and Guesty
Clearly a significant family influence on the team!
No awards this week other than a well done to everyone who turned up. Perhaps Jack should get Twat for forgetting his rack (that almost rhymes!) but I don’t fancy more abuse than I already get.
So, that’s it for the III’s then. An up and down season really, probably due to inconsistency of availability and also playing some pretty good teams, after all we were in a merit table.
Hopefully everyone has enjoyed it all; the rough and the smooth, and for my part I hope the reports have entertained to some degree – certainly more than my on pitch antics! Rumour has it that we’re going to be without our scrum half inspiration next season, so I think I’ll volunteer to take his place, it should be entertaining and surely I can’t pass any worse!!!
Thanks to Rich for all his hard work in trying to get as many teams out as possible each week. Lets all try and make his job a little easier next season and make ourselves available as much as possible, hey and you never know we might just enjoy it!
Rumour has it there’s a Vets game next week, so one last chance for the more mature amongst us to pull some fat!
Signing off for now, and see you all for the next instalment at the end of August.