All was not as it seemed as Camps turned up at Tamworth in the bleak midwinter: there was no snow laying round about, and the only thing deep and crisp would have been the pizza served at full time. Nevertheless, some very strange scenarios were played out whilst shepherds watched today’s match
The game was punctuated by a series of Christmas mysteries: in the first five minutes the opposition was blown away by Lewis’ blistering pace, who stormed past both his own set of backs and the opposition on his way to a 90m try, outpacing even Kayin in support. In a further astonishing turn of events, Theo not only turned up late and did no kicking practice, but then volunteered to play at 10, said nothing all game, and then refused an offer of post-match food. Meanwhile, the Holly and the Ivory rang out from the side-lines as Ben raced in for the first of his ten tries, a feat matched only by Alpay in a manger.
Sadly, after last week’s m-o-m performance Joe F missed most of the match, having failed a head injury assessment after an early collision with a low crossbar, the referee issuing one of several (Christmas) cards to the offending goalposts. Jack S on the other hand managed to go the entire distance without any head injury of any kind, although during the second half there was a ‘ding-dong’ merrily played out between both sets of players resulting in further reductions in numbers.
'Special' mention must also go to front rower Jack N for his party hat-trick, and spectators also spotted three chips sailing in from Pranny.
Coach Ali-addin, present throughout the entire game (oh yes he was!), pronounced himself delighted enough to grant everyone three wishes from the Genie Trig.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The above account is merely ‘what could have been’ and bears no resemblance to reality whatsoever. In the real world, the game was cancelled. Merry Christmas all!