National Plate

It was with a sense of foreboding that the band of Chew Valley Colts travelling supporters trudged towards the sea to find the site of what must have seemed like a doomed endeavour. Chew Valley Colts manager Charlie “Viperman” Terrell and Kev “Evil genius” Lodge had spent the last three days trying to get a squad together. With a combination of injuries, work commitments, hangovers, and geographical dislocation a mere 12 players started their warm-up routine. With 20 minutes to go, and a ten minute walk to the pitch, the last player arrived. Chew Valley colts were about to take to the field of battle with only 13 men.
Hornets on the other hand were warming up their full squad an hour before kick-off. A quality side they certainly had a spring in their step. Hornets are top of their league, had home ground advantage and were facing a shambolic looking opposition two men down with no subs. They must have thought the result was a foregone conclusion.
Reggie “the boss” Parfett started with a captain’s ‘chat’ in the huddle before kick-off; this was going to be hard work but he expected every man to give his all today. With Nick “Route one” Manville (flanker) playing at outside centre and Olly “Calm down” Boyle playing right wing AND full-back the team knew that mutual support was imperative.
Ten minutes in and the score was ten nil; but hold on, ten nil to Chew Valley!
Alex Higgins, emerging from yet another secured ruck scored under the posts for an easy Reggie conversion. A few minutes’ later Reggie added three more were for a penalty. Two more tries followed from Rob “The General” Terrell and Charles “One man team” Pearce. Curtis “Cheeky offload” Hurst (prop) and Geo “Out of my way” Thomas (flanker / No 8) both put in stellar performances.
It would appear that the Vipers either didn’t read the script or set out to rip it up and stamp it into the ground. Every single player performed out of his skin. First time tackle rate was close to 100%. Restart kicks were returned with interest. Sam “Coming through” Wedlake (flanker) was like a rogue missile, with or without the ball, streaking across the pitch causing mayhem. Lineout, scrum and rucks were utterly dominated; Hornets were simply not allowed to have the ball. Alex “Pascal” RB (hooker) took all of Chew’s put-in and almost all of Hornets. In fact he took so many against the head that Hornets seldom got to unleash their backs from the scrums. Rather than the ‘free-flowing-high-risk’ style the Vipers usually employ (often to great effect, to be fair) the depleted team played disciplined, drilled, precise, measured, superbly supported and tightly structured rugby.
Later in the first half Hornets rallied and scored but the Vipers responded with another try under the posts and a conversion, both from Reggie. At half time the score was 27 – 7. The supporters could hardly believe what they were seeing. Elliot “Line-out terminator” Smith asked “If we get to 50 points does the ref stop the game, because I’m knackered”.
The first five minutes of the second half saw Chew down to 12 players. Despite panful stud marks on his ankle Alex “Strap me up and send me back on” Higgins didn’t want to miss the fun. The tone had been set and knocks that might normally have resulted in substitution were being shrugged off all over the pitch. Both Rob Terrell (10) and Jack “Let’s go blind” Tibbs (9), charged with decision making in very difficult circumstances, were outstanding. Early in the second half Jack set Olly Boyle free down the right with just enough space to beat three flailing defenders.
At 36 – 7 the Vipers could be excused ten minutes of madness as possession was kicked away and Hornets finally realised that there might be space out wide. A converted try shook the Chew Colts back into focus and normal service resumed. Kyle “looking for work” Cording (wing) scored in the corner and Hornets grabbed a consolation try but never looked like getting on level terms. Charles finished the game off in style, once again dancing through gaps that weren’t there to touch down under the posts. The final whistle sounded with the final score 46 – 19 and the Chew Valley Colts advancing in the National Colts Cup. As Andy “Just because I have a clip-board doesn’t mean I know what’s going on” Price strode back to the Hornets club house the coaches agreed that playing with two men down had been an inspirational idea and clearly winning strategy. Those thirteen names have now been written in Chew Valley Colts history.