Just a couple of enforced changes to the current COVID D Group Champions in this second game away at B&B 3rds, with both sides looking to get off the mark for the season. The Eagles were still able to field a decent XI, but a couple of noticeable absentees from the hosts raised some eyebrows, but probably made for a much better atmosphere throughout the game.

Upon arrival at the ground, the first though was “where’s the wicket?” It was the greenest of green tops and has also been turned 90 degrees from last year, back to how it was a couple of seasons ago. Doubts about the wicket crept in, but would they be justified?

A wander to the middle and the demons of the past resurfaced, with the outfield full of craters, holes and the occasional lump of concrete. It looked like a minefield, to the extent that I expected Princess Diana to accompany the captains to the middle for the toss (RIP England’s Rose), never mind the umpires (of which there were 2, a welcome sight for those shy of volunteering to do square leg!) B&B won the toss and chose to bat first.

Arnie opened, and within three deliveries had Mark hopping and diving around as the ball did everything except what you would want or expect it to. Roachy was in the firing line a lot, given the amount of times the ball passed the bat, and ended up as battered and bruised as one of Ryan Giggs’ girlfriends (allegedly).

“Dog S**t Stops Play!” Just a couple of overs into the contest, Timps spotted a rogue canine deposit in the outfield. Farhan went for a shovel and a brush, The Professor instantly offered the offending turd his spare room at a very reasonable monthly rate, bills not included.

The opening pair batted slowly, very slowly. Although they were careful, as the odd ball shot through on the ground, only to be followed by one that popped up off a good length. It was pedestrian stuff, with the first wicket not falling until the first bowling change had been made. In the 12th over, Skids bowled one of his famous skidders, which rolled along the floor and clipped the stumps of Swallow, J. Unlucky son. 14 for 1.

There was a partnership brewing for the home side, as Davis and Ulhaque prodded, probed and dispatched the rare bad ball. AJ was called into the attack from the pub end, and had the ball moving all over the place and was very unfortunate not to bag a wicket. 50p into the fines pot though, cheers!

Ulhaque played one shot too many against Sharp and sent a skier into the big blue sky. Underneath it stood AJ and a very static The Professor. AJ took the catch after a useful partnership of 39. 53 for 2 quickly became 53 for 3 as Sharpy stuck twice in the over. Davis had batted patiently for his 26, but miscued a looping shot straight to Jordan at mid-off. Jordan did manage to make a simple catch look difficult as he ran in, then scurried backwards before bagging the catch.

Controversy reigned as two young lads were at the crease, with Arnie issuing team orders that no wickets should be taken. Fearless Leader may be an outdated moniker for the Captain, as he seemed nervous of the ‘big hitters’ coming into bat next. Roachy had the same approach to the team orders as Kimi Raikonnen, diving to his right two overs later to take the edge, giving Sharpy his third wicket. A wicket met with complete silence from the fielders. 53 for 1 had become 56 for 4 in no time, and things got worse for B&B as Timps had joined the party. Thirkill didn’t fancy facing Stephen, son of Milo, as he was gone for a duck as The Professor took the catch. 4 wickets had come for the addition of just 5 runs.

Arnie was nervously scratching around now, would his earlier warning of big hitting bear fruit? Shahbaz was at the crease, but Sharpy was steaming in and bowled the ‘danger man’ as he attempted a late cut and played on (62 for 6). Timps removed the Captain Farhan with a snorter that leapt off the pitch and was gloved to Mark behind the stumps. The Eagles duo combined for the next wicket too, another duck in the lower order as Timps claimed his 3rd. 67 for 7 and then 8 became 68 for 9. A plumb LBW to give Sharpy a 5-wicket haul. The reasons for Arnie’s nervous approach was now clear. The hosts were 9 down and he was wicketless. He took the ball back and steamed in (as much as you can steam in off 3 paces) but the batsmen seemed encouraged by the well wishers in the field as he saw off ball after ball. Arnie eventually taking a wicket with the penultimate ball of his spell with a delivery that clipped the off stump. 75 all out, after being 53 for 1 is a collapse that could haunt a team this early in the season.

Just 75 runs on the board as the travelling convocation tucked into their lunch in the sunshine. Tom’s lunch was rudely interrupted with the news that he was opening. The skipper wanted a positive start with a low score on the board. So, no pressure. Ollie handled the first over nicely, putting away the bad ball for a tidy boundary. The other opener was an angry youth who bowled quite sharply, if a little short. His first ball jumped up to the edge of Tom’s bat, then his shoulder and was somehow missed by both wicket keeper and slip. It mattered little, as Tom was out in the third over, playing on whilst attempting to drive a delivery that just wasn’t there to hit. Sorry lads, fine money in the pot!

At 7 for 1, we were nearly 10% of the way there, and The Professor and Oli steadied the ship, punishing the bad balls. An elegant cover drive from the former raced to the boundary, one of the shots of the day. The Professor fell with the score on 29, the stumps cartwheeling from the young opener. Chaz at 3, and a partnership of just 9 before he too was bowled, this time by the wily Farhan. 38 for 3 and we were half-way there, although batting wasn’t easy. Timps can’t have batted at 5 too many times in his career, but here he was. A steady head for such an occasion. The runs began to flow again, and we had 61 on the board before Oli was taken by the keeper, again off the bowling of Farhan.

We still had 61 on the board when Timps was sharply caught behind with the first ball of Shahbaz’s spell. AJ and Mark were now at the crease with 15 runs still required and all the time in the world in which to do it. Nerves were rattled when Roachy was given out LBW with the score on 65, and it was time for Fearless Leader to bring it home. The winning runs came in just the 25th over, a 4-wicket margin made it a little uncomfortable towards the end. Although Jordan, Sharpy and Joe, in as a late replacement for Deep, would surely have fancied themselves to carry us over the line if required.

A takeaway pint in the sun after the game had finished was welcome as the fines were rounded up. Good job the covid police weren’t patrolling the park as the buoyant banter began. Mark had to dig deep as we had won a game without dropping a chance. Sharpy was in line for man of the match and dick of the day, after his 5 wicket haul was tainted by 5 overthrows. Arnie threw in a fiver, claiming some was owed from last week, but he still got off lightly after his team orders debacle.

Long Lee at home next Saturday, a side who have also won one of their opening two games. It was runs aplenty away there at the end of last season, who will fill their boots this time around?