HYDEY I MISS YOU

Heaton Moor made the short journey to Ford Lane for the first episode of this seasons two derby matches. The game itself was preceded by what I am told was a very good but oh so Didsbury Moroccan Lamb & Couscous lunch! They had obviously ran out of Quiche!

Upon arrival at the ground, I unfortunately missed the first ten minutes of the game after spotting long time Toc nemesis Mike Hyde packing down in the front row before I realised that I was actually watching the second team game! Hydey must have been dropped! The Ravens must have finally left the Tower of London! I would loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation! A few quick enquiries in to the situation did confirm he didn’t take it well however apparently he did stop sulking after a month!

With attentions now turned to the main event, I immediately looked for the Toc hooker, after all this lad must be something special to see Hydey ditched. More of him later!

I was immediately brought up to speed by Moor Ex Pres David Todd who informed me that we were 7 points up after after skipper Danny Child turned down a certain 3 points from a penalty bang in front, instead opening to take a scrum which resulted in No 8 Ben Jones barging his way over for the opening score.

So far so good however a quick scan of the Moor pack, I duly noted the front row comprised Messrs Brennan, Ireland & Buckley which could only mean one thing, there was a second team somewhere without a front row! The other issue was they’re all bloody hookers!

7 points up, so far so good, "F@ck off Kirky” came a typical greeting from Toc stalwart and recent retiree Gareth Oakley who had obviously enjoyed a convivial lunch and was now on bottle No 3 of Vino Collapso!

"Good day to you to Gaz“How the F@ck have you got in? Came the next greeting from ex Toc President Tommy who’s banter is limited to say the least!
It wasn’t long before Toc opened their account with a penalty kicked for touch followed by a textbook catch and drive for an unconverted try in the corner.
Despite the hostile welcome on the sideline, activities out on the pitch were actually … well quite nice. Moor were dominating territory and despite three hookers in the front row Moor were looking more than comfortable in the scrum and were at this stage of the game dominating the line out as Hydey’s replacement, despite one good throw for the try couldn’t hit a Cows arse with a banjo!

After the third lost line out the clamour for Hydey’s recall was gathering momentum.. from me at least! With Moor dominating possession and territory Toc were forced to live off scraps but try as they might they simply couldn’t string two passes together in a remarkable display of philanthropy that was keeping Moor in the game.

Back in conversation with Gareth, we both lamented the blood and thunder of the last twenty years.

The lads on display were all decent players and there was no shortage of physicality with Toc second row and minor celebrity Jonathan Beardmore playing a lot harder than he sounds on the wireless but there simply wasn’t a cheap shot to be had anywhere!
We were both begging for someone to just show a bit of passion and crack someone which had been such a staple of Moor- Toc Derbies down the years!
These lads were all far too nice, don’t get me wrong we weren’t hard in our day and it has been said that the first ever outbreak of Della flu was found on Green Lane in the early 90’s!
Whilst some clubs mottos are all about courage, valour & endeavour Moor’s motto of “ not in the face please” was never going to cut the mustard at scrapping anywhere other than against Toc and trust me Wildey and Pappi Seniors retirements made us all a lot braver than when they were around!
Back to the game and Toc scored their second try before Moor reduced the deficit with a Child penalty that saw the teams go in the break at 10 all.
The second half started with both sides repeating the tale of the first half with Moor edging territory but struggling to break the gain line when in sight of the line.
Toc were clearly looking the more dangerous side but again struggled to keep possession.
A Child penalty allowed Moor to retake the lead before the seminal moment of the game occurred after a good Toc attack was thwarted by … Toc themselves, but despite stopping their opponents on the line Moor lost No 8 Ben Jones and back row colleague Tom Yeomans to a blow to the head and an ankle injury respectively.

With a lengthy stoppage for injury, my plea to referee Mark Hiney that he should call it as there were 60 minutes on the clock and Moor were 13-10 up fell on deaf ears however it did result in me being able to prove that everyone in Didsbury can actually tell the time as I had at least a dozen Rolexes thrust in my face! Only the best for these lads!

From the scrum restart Toc were in no mood to be so generous this time round and it came as no surprise when they forced their way over for their third try. The bonus point try quickly followed after another poor Toc line out was tapped down by Moor second row James Elis which was then hacked on with one of the Didsbury flyers before touching down. Danny Child did manage to pull back another penalty before Toc put the final nail in the Moor coffin with their fifth try of the day that was well converted from the touchline that saw a final score of 27-16 to the hosts who were worthy winners.

Five tries to one tells it own story in a game that was very well reffed by Mr Hiney but full credit to the Moor lads who fought to the end with wing David Adebo catching the eye.