I Got A Color TV So I Can See King’s Play Basketball

After another unscheduled blank weekend King’s were pleased to make the short hop to Fairmile Lane for what, as it transpires, was to be the old boys last away fixture of this campaign. The hosts sat three places and seven points above their visitors who have enjoyed a decent 2022, 5 wins set against 3 defeats, 2 of which came against clubs en route to L&SE Premier – Camberley and London Welsh. With a top five finish possible for both sides there was nothing if not pride and league standing to play for.

King’s were pleased to be able to include club captain George Taylor after week away and to welcome back into the fold Charlie Dockery, absent since November. Elsewhere making their first appearances of 2022 were Jack Griffin and Max Carroll, both last seen on the ill-fated visit to London Irish Amateur, albeit the latter did grab a brace of tries that day. So it was with Constantijn Bakker the circus master that at 1932 with fully functioning floodlights (ahem) bathing the AGP in luminance, rugby began.

Who doesn’t love a fast start? King’s normally, but today Funmi Oduniyi hadn’t read the script and snaffled an interception to put the visitors ahead. Jim McFarlane kicked the goal; 0-7. Back came Cobham, putting good pressure on and culminating in a defensive lineout on the King’s 5m line. Possession was secured, just, and a caterpillar ruck saw the ball behind the try line – turns out there’s no offside in goal – who knew – Tiernan White apparently, as he sniped to touch down; 7-7. Two minutes later King’s swung the play wide in the home 22, a grubber from skipper Taylor and winger Ellis Hook did the rest; 7-12.

Into the second quarter and no prizes for guessing who scored next, yup it was Cobham with a suspiciously forward looking pass to put them in at the corner, but joué cares not for trigonometry; 12-12. Tell you what’s not joué, that’s kicking a penalty on a Friday night, but that’s what Cobham did next; 15-12. As if to show them the error of their ways, soon after when they box kicked up to halfway full-back Dockery (Cobham’s MOM) did his best impression of a slalom skier, casually stepping his way through a tangle of arms to cross under the sticks for a fine individual score; 15-19.

Now into time added as onlookers tuned their attention to the clubhouse bar and hypnotic disco lights emanating from the function on the first floor, the teams remained focused on the task in hand. A carry from Jack Griffin was supported by scrum-half Slater, he passed to half-back partner McFarlane who released Theo Alexis who had plenty to do from 35m+ but put the hammer down and outstripped everyone; 15-24. In the final play of the first forty(ish) it was a break from Alexis asking questions and culminating in a penalty against a backpedalling defence. Slater was alert and tapped before plunging over for his first try of the season. McFarlane with his third conversion.

HT: 15-31

By comparison the opening gambit of the second period was remarkably calm, but then dynamic ball-playing tighthead Kiddle picked one off his toes, set McFarlane away, Taylor carried on the good work as did Hook. A quick ruck later and Taylor found Felix Griffin coming back against the grain for try number six; 15-38. Three minutes later, a box from Slater, a committed chase from Hook sees the winger pluck the ball from under the nose of his opposite man and charge forward. Cobham win it back but within their in-goal area chaos unfolds and a volleyed clearance from fly-half Farrelly (King’s MOM) is charged by Hook who grounds it for his second; 15-45. As is the protocol in these situations, Cobham went over next, a close-range score after a couple of penalties; 22-45. The tennis-rally of scoring continued unabated and moments later the hosts were back under their own posts, a carry from Felix Griffin, a break from Taylor and a Benji Marshall-esque backdoor flick to centre partner Alexis who powered home; 22-52.

Into the final quarter and with the crowd of dozens greedy for more, the home side didn’t disappoint as their salad dodgers barged over for another try in the corner; 27-52. A lull then ensued with generic rugby related action but no score for a full 14 minutes. Conscious there would be a riot if more points didn’t follow, Cobham obliged as the pack snaffled a fifth try; 34-52. The clock was against them but frankly another eleven points for a losing BP wasn’t out of the question given what had gone before and looked to have been made easier when King’s saw yellow. The game was seriously loose, which is saying something, and in the end fatigue got the better of the hosts with a lineout underthrown in the last play to allow King’s to kick dead.

FT: 34*-52

So, there you have it – some proper Friday Nights mayhem. To be fair, both teams gave it a serious lash and Cobham recorded their second highest home points for tally of the campaign and fourth overall behind two wins over London Cornish and 35 scored against King’s at home. King’s for their part managed (a) their first win against Cobham since February 2006 in L4SW, and (b) their highest away tally in their time at Level 6, surpassed only by 55 at home against Beckenham in September 2019. Cobham 2s also faced King’s 2s in their Surrey Championship match at their Covenham Ground (King’s edging that one 7-13) – and a big thanks for them for organising and hosting both sides so well. Acquaintances will perhaps be renewed in 2022-23 subject to ACR, fingers crossed that the dividing lines are kind.

Next up for King’s is the visit of Chichester who suffered a CV19 outbreak in their 1XV squad back in January prompting a postponement to the first blank weekend – the Six Nations ‘Super Saturday’. Both teams will doubtless be disrupted by unavailability as a consequence, but the game goes ahead with an earlier 2pm kick-off to allow for television viewing. Chichester sit one spot below King’s but level on points so a proper tussle beckons. Do get down to support if you can.

* GMS has this has 36 but we’re sticking to 34 as we reckon only 3/5 conversions were kicked