First Blood To The Deer Hunters

So it was that King's 2XV's first outing of the season came in the leafy surrounds of Teddington's Bushy Park home replete with refurbished clubhouse just a week after its unveiling. Certainly the posh Portakabin was in better shape than the King's playing squad whose numbers had waxed and waned either side of 15 more times than was conducive to good preparation in the run up to the game but ultimately when it fell silent on that particular round of music chairs there were 12 forwards and 5 backs on trains and in cars en route to TW11.

Things began promisingly for the visitors who, despite giving away several stone, comfortably dominated Antlers in the scrum and within only a few minutes of the start found the referee exercising his arm variously penalising the home team for delaying the put in, feeding and foot-up with one such penalty seeing them marched back a further 10m for chirping. For all their early pressure a combination of early season rustiness and some poor decision making in the 'red-zone' allied with some good defence meant it came to naught and Teddington were able to clear their lines time and again.

With these early forays repelled the men in blue began to hit their straps and after a series of pick-and-gos were able to reach out and score close to corner. A fine touchline conversion followed to improve the try; 7-0. Soon afterwards they repeated the trick, albeit minus the conversion to stretch their lead; 12-0. Just as King's pressed to open their own account and with oranges looming, another attack broke down and Teddington took advantage of the broken field to navigate their way through the retreating King's defence and score their third in what was the last play of the half; 17-0.

The second half followed a similar pattern to the first in as much as despite their enduring travails in the scrum Teddington proved adept at scrambling the ball into the hands of their backs who undoubtedly had the edge over their opponents who whilst spirited were patently unfamiliar with one another. Antlers also began to get the rub of the man in green who may have misremembered a few rules following the summer break but certainly hadn't forgotten how to use his whistle and my, how he whistled. Following King's being penalised for not rolling away, despite it being they who took the ball into contact, a punitive 20m retreat ensued as King's unwisely tried to elicit an explanation for the decision. From this advanced position Teddington scored try number four to turn a healthy lead into a virtually unassailable one; 22-0.

With the injustice of it all coursing through their veins, maybe, King's galvanised themselves and from a kicked penalty to the corner a lineout was cleanly won and the forwards cantered over the line from the drive for their first points of the game; 22-5. Immediately from the restart an excellent high kick was loudly called for by a King's player and with both feet off the ground an over eager onrushing Antler took the man in the air without the ball in the metaphorical frame. The arbiter who had thus far resisted the temptation to flourish any of his coloured cards wasted no time in producing a red one for the offender with 17mins still to play. Despite the numerical deficiency Teddington had the advantage of fresh legs to call upon just as King's began to flag in the face of injury and fatigue and it was Teddington who were to have the final say as they took a leaf from King's book and drove a lineout of their own over the whitewash with the extras added; 29-5.

Despite Teddington's repeated assertion that this was a league game (perhaps a Jedi mind trick?) it was not, and King's shall kick off their Surrey Conference 1 campaign away with a tricky game at Battersea next week whilst today's hosts shall welcome the Law Society in Conference 2 – and we wish them well when they do.

It was great to see Connor and Usman two 17yr old colts produce solid and highly promising performances as well as several others playing out of position not grumble but instead put their heads down and graft. Perhaps the most distinguished of these was Woody playing at openside who was a constant threat and got one try and very nearly got another straight from a drop out – it looked like only agoraphobia, a common forwards' affliction, stopped him!

For King's it's not so much back to drawing board as down to the training pitch. Rugby is not rocket science, although it is about chemistry and the more the elements are exposed to each other the more likely they are to bond and produce results.