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Sat 26
Lakenham Hewett Mens
Beccles II
Match Report BecclesII vs Lakenham - Hewett

Match Report BecclesII vs Lakenham - Hewett

By Jamie Kent
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Lakenham Fall to Beccles
On Saturday Lakenham made the trip to Beccles!! Lakenham had a depleted side with a few injuries following two very physical games earlier in the month!
The day took a rather unexpected turn when Captain Dan Baker had forgotten the kit, so he had to drive back to Lakenham to try and get it whilst contesting with Norfolk driving and a single carriageway!!
The conditions were going to be testing, with the weather being akin to a shitty weekend in Butlins with the in laws and the ADHD kid who keeps weeing in the swimming pool.
Lakenham started very slowly and invited Beccles attacks, it had seemed like everything Lakenham had learned over the last 16 weeks had been totally forgotten!!
The standout performer in the defensive line was our main man Woolfy, A man who continues to defy medical science and manages to stay alive after consuming around 20 pints every Saturday!! Lakenham were wasteful with the ball in hand and were trying to run the ball out of their own 22, it was brainless Rugby!! It was about as intelligent as watching Ginger Tom on Mastermind.
As Lakenham entered halftime they were 22-0 down, Dan Baker gave them nothing short of an absolute bollocking!! It was by far our worst performance of the season, and the Captain wanted to see a reaction from the lads!! Watching 18 blokes get teary reminded me of the day B'Witched split up, I felt bad but it had to happen at some point!!!
(If none of you have heard of B'Witched, please listen to B'Witched-C'est la Vie)
The second half performance from Lakenham was much improved and resulted in a try from our vertically challenged, brill cream wearing scrum half Jordan Holland! The Lakenham defence suddenly started working, albeit it was too late but great to see a reaction from the lads!!
Final Score was 32-10 to Beccles
We have a free week this week due to the Rugby world cup final, I am going to use this to write erotic novels about Le Fox's sex scandal with a member of the royal family- (Yes it is Prince Andrew)
Thats all for now
Dan Baker
All round nice guy
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Match details

Match date

Sat 26, Oct 2019





League position

Beccles II
Lakenham Hewett