It's a Bankers Bonus!
By James Weatherall
Unlike those Southern City boys, this Bankers bonus was well deserved.
It had been 2 weeks since the humbling defeat to Hunters Bar and everyone was desperate to put it in the past and get back to winning ways. FERGIE wanted a reaction and decided to make changes. JAMES K started at left back following DEAN's resignation, SPY moved to right back and GAV B came in on the wing.
For once, we started like a house on fire. Everyone seemed awake for a change and despite the deluge of rain the night before, the pitch was is good nick and allowed us to knock the ball around nicely. After a few early chances, we got the breakthrough we deserved. A good through ball from the left saw MATTY race into the channel but before he could make the ball, he was crudely tripped by the full back as he entered the box. The tackle was needless and clumsy at best but the opposition were NOT happy.
The protestations of the Bankers boys were persistent and one dude, despite being warned with a yellow card, decided that telling the referee to "F*ck Off" was the only way he would pay attention. Pay attention he did as he gave him a red card. Not only did we have a chance to get an early lead but also had almost a full game against 10 men. Beautiful. After everything had settled down, MATTY strode up and confidently scuffed it straight at the keeper. Thankfully his legs couldn't keep it out and it rebounded in off the post.
After that Bankers struggled to adjust to being a man short and we continued to play good football and create chances. A short time later, MATTY was involved again. This time he managed to kick it properly as he crossed it to an unmarked BROWNY to nod/shoulder it home.
It was the best start of the season and much needed after the last performance. Not much more time had elapsed when the 3rd arrived. Good pressure forced a corner which was swung in by left wing maestro Gav Bennett. WETH was lurking underneath the cross but only one man was getting on the end of it. HANSON rose and planted his sloped forehead on the ball and nodded it home. It was textbook Nath and gave him another 5 points to add to his collection.
The first half continued in much the same vein but the score stayed at 3-0.
FERGIE was a happy man and sent out the same 11 to finish the job. However, the second half turned out to be a much more frustrating affair. We were having nearly all the ball and Bankers were defending like beavers but we just couldn't get the 4th.
Eventually, a chance came. BROWNY picked up the ball in a dangerous position and worked his way into the box where the defenders, like many others before them, couldn't handle his tricky feet and brought him down. MITCHELL wanted the pen, so did BROWNY but MATTY was the taker. After a bit of arguing similar to that you might find in a playground, MATTY handed it to BROWNY. After his miss against Trinity, everyone hoped he would stick the ball away. Unfortunately, he chose to copy MATTY's technique from earlier and wasn't as lucky as the keeper saved with his legs.
We had to wait a little longer but the 4th did eventually arrive. Gav Bennett swept home a neat half volley from the edge of the box. Game over, Bankers resistance was broken. The 5th came soon after from another penalty. Once again, MITCHELL wanted it, as did MATTY. The arguments started again and FERGIE had to step in. His decision? Let DAN take it. What? Given the performance, he hadn't had much to do in goal and he made his way forward. MATTY decided that the penalty was going to be his anyway but it wasn't all bad news for DAN. It meant that he got to show off moustache, which, I'll be honest, is a work of art.
MATTY this time chose a different method and side footed the ball comfortably into the right hand corner of the goal.
With the game over, FERGIE made changes and brought LEE B and RHODES into the game. After recent stints in goal and at the back, RHODES was back in his favoured position as towering centre forward. With the game dying out, chances were being created and BROWNY managed to work his way into the box. The keeper saved his initial effort but the ball fell to the big man, this was it, the chance to break his duck and notch his first for the might MALIN. There was a man on the line but he was 6 yards out and it was virtually an open net. It was like slow motion as he pulled back his leg, cocked the trigger and then fired. It went about 3 yards to the left and nowhere near goal. FERGIE laughed, we all laughed. It'll come RHODES....
There was time for one more. The saying "save the best til last" was made for moments like this. Another good move led to GAV B picking the ball up on the left. He cut in on his favoured right foot and swung another peach of a ball into the box. Out of nowhere came SPYRO charging down the right wing. As the ball dropped he met it perfectly with his shin right foot. As he hit it he let out a weird groan, which was either him jizzing his shorts or a moan in the belief that he'd ballsed it up. He hadn't. The ball flew like a rocket into the top left corner of the goal. Goal of the season? Maybe.
That was the lot. 6-0. The worldy won SPYRO the Man of the Match but there were solid performances from everyone. More of the same on Saturday!!