Old Habs 2nd XV vs Hammersmith & Fulham 3rd XV

The clock struck 11.30am, the agreed upon meet time, yet as I scanned the grassy plains of Hurlingham Park from the prison like changing rooms, there was no rugby player with a holdall or a gillet in sight. In the distance, a number of kid’s football matches were killing off the last of the grass on the 2nd XV pitch. In the vicinity, two large men were taking it in turns to take conversions from unrealistic distances; their ineptitude was interrupted on a few occasions by the latest dog to go for a turd in the ten metre channel of the 1st XV pitch.

Young buck Richard Johnson was the first to arrive followed by my hero, Si Wallis. He arrived in a foul mood; this was understandable given he had boldly volunteered to play prop, a situation engendered by 7 missing props this particular weekend (was there some sort of front row scrummaging retreat in the countryside?).

Each new arrival was interspersed by a text from another player explaining they were going to be late. This season had seen a marked improvement in player punctuality, however Saturday was a return to form!

As a result, Habs’s warm up was far from perfect and they ran onto the pitch after a curtailed warm up session. H&F took ages to come out so the referee voided the toss and awarded it to Habs (in recent weeks, that was the only way I was going to win a bloody toss). I decided to play into the wind and a slight slope first.

Perhaps not unexpectedly, Habs started slowly, and had to absorb a lot of pressure from Hammers early on, with the opposition utilising their big runners well. Although Habs defended their line well, it cost us two penalties, which their chubby (but decent) no.9 converted. 0-6 to Hammers.

Habs continued to struggle to establish a foothold in the game, however with our first opportunity, we struck. A good half break by Adam Dye at 13 lead to some front foot ball in the Hammers 22. The ball was recycled to the left corner and from short range, Matt Poynton, bundled over for a score. Brian struck a brilliant conversion from wide out. 7-6 to Habs.

Unfortunately, this did not reverse the momentum. After more sustained pressure resulting in another penalty, Brian was sinbinned and Hammers chose to have a scrum 5 metres from the Habs line mid-pitch. In a strange set of events, Habs won the ball against the head, before the ball pin-balled back into the Hammers second row before the scrum partially collapsed. The referee immediately gave a penalty try. 7-13 to Hammers.

Habs saw out the rest of the half with no more damage. At HT, some stern words were said; we had no foothold in the game and the whole team needed to lift its work rate and performance. Unfortunately, Jack Lambert went off with a recurrence of his ankle injury, which resulted in new boy Ollie coming into the back row (my ears pricked up when Jack mentioned “Cambridge blue”).

Habs started the 2nd half well despite having 14 men. Some good play resulted in a penalty in front of the posts. Despite Brian being off, even I was confident I’d nail this one. I duly converted to bring the score back to 10-13 to H&F.

Habs were hit with a setback soon after, when H&F extended their lead. A decent bit of play from their 10 caught Habs defence on their heels as he switched play and scored. It was, however, a soft try for Habs to concede. 10-18 to H&F.

We hit back immediately (and we needed to) as Hammers made a hash of Brian’s kick off, with George Seabrook showing great anticipation to snaffle up the loose ball and dot down. Brian’s conversion made it a one point game. 17-18.

It should be said at this point that our inexperienced front row (Tobenna and Twitch) had performed manfully, with scrums remaining pretty competitive (ignoring the penalty try). This was offset slightly by Twitch giving his opinion on a law interpretation to the referee for which we were duly penalised.

After an exchange of penalties, Habs’s fitness and superior ability began to show (or perhaps we just woke up). After the better looking Johnson (Dicky) entered the fray on the hour, he received the ball 7 yards out after some great hands down the line. With still quite a bit to do to beat the covering defence, he stepped inside and powerfully burrowed his way over for a great finish. 25-21 to Habs.

The Hammers were now beginning to tire and debutant Ollie took advantage of a lineout error to score. This was quickly supplemented by a typically destructive gallop from my favourite lefty, Will Longhill, who broke two tackles to score under the posts. Like a true lock, Will chose to run over the full back rather than pass to me for an unopposed score! 37-21 to Habs.

In the final play of the game, Hammers tries to run the ball from their own 22 but their 13 dropped a difficult pass. Dicky Johnson kneed it forward, and collected the ball to score his second. Dicky received TOTM for this subsequent celebration, however a big commendation for his impact after coming on! 44-21 FT.

MOTM – I only took this due to unforeseen peer pressure in the bar afterwards and the fact that there were barely any players left to award it to. Adam Dye may well have got it for a very assured first start at outside centre.

Special mention to the Charles brothers for some fantastic telepathic handling down the right wing in the second half, which deserved a try.

The team finish in 2nd position in their first season in Middlesex Merit League One, which is a highly commendable achievement. The team now take on Chiswick in the end of season playoff semi-final for a chance to play for silverware in the final on 8 April. Let’s go for it lads!

Graham