When Porky turned up for his first Mods training session all those years ago and told us that he could play prop, hooker, number 8, flanker and head coach, we thought we'd found the natural successor to Oddy. The uncanny resemblance became even more apparent when he opened his mouth and it turned out he could pick an argument in an empty room.

Unfortunately though, the one area he couldn't match Oddy was in his longevity and after a few stellar seasons for the club, Kieran Porter said his goodbyes.

It says a lot for a man when they are still popular at a club even after leaving - see Kenny Parsons for the polar opposite - but I wonder whether Porky will still be liked by players and coaches alike after they read his 1-15.

Let's go:

"There is a hole in my heart which gaped when the Red and Black jersey was taken off for the last time. I hope my 1-15 will prove the quality that has graced the slant… UTM. A naughty selection coming your way!

1. A plethora of options for this position are available but I’ve no doubt that his little heart would break if I didn’t include him. Solid at the scrum with a lingering appetite for petty crime in the rucks. Not many have played in the red and black for longer than Richard Oddy!

2. Standing on the bench, naked in the changing rooms after a game was where you’d find Andy Scholey! Swinging gloriously in the changers and anchored from the props in the scrum, he could steal any ball against the head. The perfect anchor!

3. PORT Cannon!!! His suave and debonair approach to life, spilled onto the field. On every mans shoulder, faultless around the park and a what seemed a never ending tank to cover the pitch. You knew that if you were propping with Andrew (Chicka) Cheetham, things were about to get naughty.

4. Such a tough pick but as a front rower that has experienced it, they don’t come more reliable than Callum Graham! Hands like shovels, legs like trees and an inability to say no to a ball carry or tackle!

5. You just can’t leave him out. The Captain, Dan Couves. On a weekday he’s towering over 5 year olds making paper mache and on a Saturday, his southern charm is out the window and the battering of the biggest of rugby player begins. Usually followed by a gentle poaching in the baths and a room of death mixer.

6. This 6/7/8 debate is potentially the hardest on the field. Passion of the chop tackle and fringe defence will not be found much fiercer than in Sam Love. Such an old fashioned grit about him, nothing fancy but what a 6! Rumour has it, he once hit over 100 rucks in one game. Rumour or not, I believe it.

7. David Swan. Those who played with him will know that this guy could run… and run… and run. A forager of the ruck with the silky hands of a 10. Swanny burrowed into the rucks and became a master of the turnover. A man of small stature but god he made you feel safe.

8. Lewis Cooopwazzz. I heard whispers once that he was the lovechild of Swanny and Dez. A super mobile ankle tackler. Generated speed quicker than any forward I’ve played with and could hit holes that even Dan Hill’s fingers couldn’t get into. Not to mention a sidestep that no forward should ever attempt, what a player!

9. Every team has that awkward looking player that you cant figure out what his position is. Then you see it and you say, surely not! However, the ducking and weaving combined with a scary turn of pace made Luke Spencer the mot feared 9 in Yorkshire 3. If you don’t find him make a break from behind a ruck, you’ll find him mortal under a table with no shoes on.

10. I don’t want to pick this position. Jez Howarth but after his mini sabbatical to play golf. He was decent before but another level afterwards. The original flat pass master and an ability to create magic. Although, I did once beat him in a kicking competition… not that he cares!!

11. Matthew Stone. I once seen him complete an intercept on our own 5 metre line and went for a drink I was that confident he’d make it. Blistering pace for such an old fella and a try scoring record to rival that of Dan Hill.

12. Every team needs at least 1 thug in their ranks. Someone who would delve into scumbaggery when the team needed it most. You didn’t have to tell Rob Mcloed that, in fact, you didn’t have to tell him at all. He fucking loved it. A huge left boot and a right hook to go with it. Pretty decent rugby player too!

13. Mark Stead. Tackles hard, runs hard, plays hard. In my early days, this guy was unbenchable. Nothing broke through that channel.

14. Scotty Robinson. I don’t care what people say, you’re not a forward. On the wing, teams would foolishly kick to this little wrecking ball and boy this the rue their decisions. He’d run in back with a 20 metre gap, I could never look and even listening to the collision was hard. When he was on his game, he was unstoppable

15. A choice of two Hills. You could flip a coin and neither would disappoint. Tom Hill however was frightening from full back. The ability to weave through defenders without losing pace was incredible. If he’d stayed as a Mod, I’d dare say no player would have worn the 15 shirt again other than him.

Bench
16. Tez Taylor
17. Freddie Humphreys
18. Chris Newbury
19. Mike Sturla
20. James Howard

End.

So there you have it. No Dan Hill. What can you say?

Thanks to Porky for taking time away from parenting to provide us with this week's 1-15. If you're a former player who'd like to submit one, send us a quick DM on Twitter.

In other news, don't forget that the club reopens this Friday for members only and bookings are pretty much essential.

We've also got our first pre-season training session coming up on the 16th and we can't wait!

P.S We make a point to not edit these articles.