The bit where this gets deconstructed

The way I usually write these, is I do five sections. Always the same. A preamble, the teams, two bits about the match (often just first half, second half), the wrap up. Two to three paragraphs in each, nice and simple, I can write maybe 40% of it beforehand. And if you’ve got a problem with writing so obviously structurally formulaic, go pick up a Maigret.

I didn’t do that today. Or rather, I’ve not done that today. The last few weeks, doing the preamble before the game was too nerve-wracking as the relegation maths stared me in the face. And today it was even worse, so I just swerved it. I’d spent all week brooding on the fact that basically, Peckham probably had to win, definitely had to at least draw, and even then it might not be enough to take things to the final game on Monday.

The Menace XI tasked with coping with all that saw two changes from the side that started against the Kentish gentleman of New Romney. James Armes was stretchered off in that game and his place up front in this was taken by Rashane Wilson, alongside Evaristo Mendes. The midfield four was Barry, Nieva and the Agyemang brothers. At the back Ettinger, Thomas and Duah Danso were retained while Doumbia came in for Desta. Gamester continued in goal.

What follows isn’t the usual bits as described above, but it is the usual bits as we’ve seen all season…

The bit where it starts well

Apart from the first minute or two, when their set-piece start of “launch it down the right where we’ve lined up five of our lads” gave Hawkinge Town a foothold in the Peckham half, the game was initially played largely on Peckham’s terms. The visitors were content to sit deep and look to release their pacy #9 on the break; Peckham had the best of territory and possession and carved out a few decent openings.

On six minutes Camilo Andres Nieva came close to breaking the deadlock, creating a chance for himself with a penetrating run down the left before his shot hit the post. A few minutes later, Mendes wasted a potential break by going for a lob from 45 yards when running through on goal might have been the better option. And on 20 minutes some excellent work from Ettinger and Barry in combination down the right deserved a better finish than Wilson’s scuffed effort wide.

Halfway through the first half then, Peckham looked in control and the more likely to score.

The bit where the referee happens

And then the referee had his fifteen minutes. With 25 gone he sent off Nathan Gamester who had handled outside his area when the Hawkinge #9 had raced through and attempted to lob him. He looked offside, but the linesman was either not consulted or offered no opinion.

On 32 minutes Peckham were down to nine. Again the Hawkinge #9 was running towards the area. With Duah Danso covering, Doumbia came across to shepherd the attacking player away from goal. The attacker went down. Contact was minimal to non-existent but the #9 threw himself to the floor and the referee – again without apparently consulting his linesman – delighted in showing a second red.

Not content with his work so far, he then made it a trifecta on 40 minutes, bizarrely awarding a penalty for contact after the Hawkinge attacker had had a shot on goal – contact initiated by the follow-through of the striker. That penalty was saved by Nunes but converted on the rebound to make it 2-0 to Hawkinge.

In all honesty, I had missed the first goal (which occurred after the second sending off) while enjoying the creative invective aimed at the officials by the twenty or so kids gathered around the TV tower. Their parents should be very proud (I was). And then it was 3-0 on the stroke of half time. But at least we all had a good laugh when the three officials showed the depth of their collective wisdom by failing to work out how to open a gate, and having to go the long way off the pitch.

The bit where Peckham fight back

In truth, the nine men of Peckham had put up a good fight in the last 15 minutes of the first half, and they had the better of the first 15 of the second. Camilo Andres Nieva again looked lively down the left, and he and Evaristo Mendes both produced efforts on goal that went unrewarded.

Then on 50 minutes, the unthinkable happened, as Peckham overcame their numerical disadvantage to register a goal. The Agyemangs combined well to find space for Raymond in the middle 25 yards out, he slipped the ball through to Camilo Andres Nieva, and the winger beat two defenders and the keeper to bring it back to 3-1.

The next ten minutes were thick with tension; could the unthinkable really happen, could Peckham overcome such a handicap and get something after all? Sadly, no. Nunes kept the score at 3-1 with a couple of excellent saves, but on 60 minutes numerical advantage told as Hawkinge had about four extra men at the back post for a corner and one of them duly converted.

The bit where we pick ourselves back up

And that was how it ended. Some time after the final whistle went, we found out that all the other teams around us had won anyway and so even a Peckham victory would have meant relegation. I don’t know if that makes it easier or not. I do know that it’s not easy turning up and seeing the same thing week after week – and it must be even harder turning up and playing through the same thing week after week. The decisions – offside, handballs, red cards, penalties, you name it – that have gone against Peckham this season, and particularly in the last few weeks, have been astounding, and the recent concentration of them… Well, let’s just say Maigret would have something to say about it….

As it is, there’s one more game to play, away at Metrogas on Monday, and then a couple of months off before next season looms. Pre-season is always a joy, and I’ve heard rumour of an away trip to somewhere near Lewes. And at least Division One West will offer some new, or less familiar, or less Kent, places to go.

Just to add. 323 people came to the game today. Three hundred and twenty three. I’ve not checked because scrolling through seven other footie teams’ X accounts on Saturday night in the hope of finding attendance figures is no way to live, but I’ll bet you a cold Peckham Pils that that’s more than watched all today’s other Kent County Premier Division games put together. Things will be a lot smaller without Peckham Town, but don’t worry, we will be back and bigger than ever before you know it.

Up The Menace.

Peckham Town: Gamester; Ettinger, Thomas, Doumboa, Duah Danso (c); Barry, Nieva, R.Agymang, M.Agyemang; Wilson, Mendes. Subs: Nunes (for Gamester), Desta (for M.Agyemang), Chitanua (for Barry), Harris (for Nieva), Tarrant (for Mendes), Wilson (back on for R.Agyemang), R.Agyemang (bac on for Duah Danso), Barry (back on for Harris), Mendes (back on for Ettinger).