Sat 18
Woking 2XV
Racal Decca
Act 5: Nobby the Cornish (county lines) gangster

Act 5: Nobby the Cornish (county lines) gangster

By Alan Parry
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Sometime tragedy is hard to get over, but sometimes that tragedy means it’s over….

It’s all about peaks and troughs in the way these games come about. Unquestionably Racal Decca
were on the plateau of the peak… Now, begins the downward decline…. (sniff sniff)

Racal Decca only boasted 6 players for the game away to Woking. Some of which were made up
from Fill your boots, and the remaining from Woking (who coincidently had a plethora of players due
to their 1 st team game being cancelled).

This barbarian assortment of extraordinary gentlemen got off to a very good start. Woking’s inside
centre (who joined Decca) picked off an interception deep in the Decca half. Rather than pinning his
ears back, he literally slowed down in the hope he would get tackled (a clear attempt at avoiding the
dick of the day nomination). As he progressed to within the opposition 22 he was finally tackled, but
not before offloading to Harri (in support like all greater hookers are…. On those cold lonely Friday
evenings when nobody else is answering their mobiles to meet up for a drink, but you need some
company) – Harri (being the Welsh magician he is) created a gap and stepped to be within inches of
the try line. Hazzard then offloaded to the Woking full back (playing for Decca today) to score just
right of the posts…. Robert-Tanaka-Woody scored the conversion.

Unfortunately, this would be as good as it got for Decca in the first half. Woking unleashed an
unrelenting barrage against the barbarian Decca team… Running in at least 5 tries before a response.
The rag tag bunch couldn’t hold back the well-oiled and well drilled Woking team.

Robert Tanaka tried his best with some pressure relieving kicks, but this was all in vein…. Like 27
years of marriage (AND CHILDREN) with a homosexual. I guess, you kinda just feel like all your efforts
(and the best years of your life) were in a sense…. for nothing. Only for your fella to be running off
and having some backstage (and very sweaty) fun with some weirdo toyboy production assistant
runner……. With an agenda….. Sigh – but that’s a different issue…..

The second half didn’t get much better….. A battered and bruised Racal Decca were trying to ride the
wave..…. But the wave (and longshore drift) process of moving sediments wasn’t helping the lads of
the blue and white.
Racal Decca would claim their second try when Nobby and Stroudy combined for a 20m gain….
Albanian-Eddy picked-and-went, then provided a cheeky offload to his brother in law on the wing….
Quick thinking Woody fed Hippie Mike, who fed Swedish Larz….. (This was becoming the best attack
for the game for Decca). The woking outside centre, and fullback combined well… and Racal Decca
were now in progressing towards the 22…..Before the Fullback got tackled he offloaded to Harri who
sold a dummy and dotted down for his first try of the season (and very much a man of the match
performance for Decca). Robert Tanka once again added the extras…..

The away team’s buoyancy was soon removed. As No8 Nobby succumbed to pretty bad injury.
Nobby cupping the back of his knee sent shock waves to the away team. This is because this was the
knee that rendered knobby on 18 months’ worth or rehab. Lakka spoke to the referee and told him
“This day extracts a heavy toll… The hardest choices, require the strongest wills”

Racal Decca succumbed to a further onslaught of tries….. It was agreed to avoid further injury, the
game should be called off early.
The game ended very one-sided, but Racal Decca barely had its own side out

Racal Decca 15: 15-Woking Fullback, 14-Woking Winger, 13-Woking Outside Centre, 12-Hippie-Mike,
11- Eddy’s sister’s boyfriend (YES Eddy’s SISTER was present), 10-Robert-Tanaka, 9-Swedish Larz, 1-
Eddy, 2-Harri, 3-Donny, 4-Stroudenheisen, 5-Fill your boots 2 nd row, 6- Fill your boots flanker, 7- Fill
your boots flanker, 8-Neal the legend Jacobs
Subs: South-West-Trains-Robbie (brand new wrists) McKenzie - Henshaw

Injury list: Benjamin Tails (shoulder separation), Neal J (recurring knee injury), Ashley (three fingers),
Eduardo Deji (Tennis elbow), Mark Jonkers (Dissertation stress), Rio De Janerio (Toddler ankles),
Five-Ohh Donny (Constabulary cramp), Stroudenheisen (Farmer’s leg), Ripper / Paul B (Shoulder
separation), Quincey (Baby injury), Northern-French-Binns (Manly Leeds flu), Tokyo-Alun-Wynn
(loose bowels), Molloy (Scottish Citizenship application), Tolu’s-Tim (unknown), Super-Tim

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Match details

Match date

Sat 18, Jan 2020