St Lawrence v Borough Green Utd

Saints get the rub of the Green
It was a glorious day as the virtuous Saints set off on their long drive to Ditton, the Sevenoaks District League equivalent of Torquay vs. Carlisle for mileage. Able to call on an almost full squad (save a vegetable), and with no-one failing the new pre-match breathaliser test, Saints sought to overcome a side that had historically been their ‘bogey’ team. As Juan ‘Jefe’ Herbertez sent his troops out on one of the better courses in the Kent League look for more ranking points he opted for two foursomes behind a pair of singles of up top.
Saints teed off for what was to be a cagey first half with the tiki-taka from the Blue half of the field punctuated by some classic route one from BG. Whatever was thrown at them the Saints defence repelled it with uncustomary ease, and the inevitable occasional scare, with Browne and Wood the measure of composure, ably flanked by Tunnell and Muzz. Up the other end Saints were seeing a lot of the ball if not creating a great deal
20 minutes in, Saints carved out a good break down the right where a slightly overhit chip from Murray found its way to Jenkinson. With a pair of players screaming for it in the middle Jenkinson unfortunately pulled out a driver, smashing it at Wright when all the pullback needed was a gentle nudge. However, speculating what might have been is possibly a theoretical exercise given Wright’s current goalscoring predicament.
The tireless Haverson was everywhere, stopping an attack by picking the opposition midfielder’s pocket with the usual ‘controlled’ lunge before countering. His vision was impeccable, his judgment less so, as he picked out Legge-Beale, still fresh from walking the 10k. With head kept firmly low and visions of increase his tally for the season he got to as tight an angle as he could before going for the slice into the side netting, ignoring the polite queue of players that had formed on the edge of the area. Still, there was time for Saints to keep pressing and inevitably it came from a corner where Herbertez II, a true veteran of these battles, guided a brilliant header down into the corner, only for an unbelievable reflex save from the keeper. There was still time for some goalmouth action as Maher, determined to prevent anything getting past, looked down at his sleeve and invoked the spirit of cagefighting, before sticking his knee through Legg-Beales head.
All-square at the turn.
The second half kicked off with more of the same as little exchanges were met with uncompromising hoofs. Then came the inevitable moment…Having needlessly conceded a corner Saints remembered that they hadn’t conceded yet and were about to keep a clean sheet for the second game in a row at which point they switched off, allowing the BG forward to head in unmarked.
How would they respond? Not known for ‘bouncebackability’ they were left with 30 mins to turn it around.
Saints drove forward in numbers and perseverance paid off shortly as a passage of brilliant one-touch football from the defence out to the left with a one-two with Herbert II, now bombing forward, allowed him to release Watson cutting in from the left. Left with 2 options; (i) shooting from a difficult angle from 25 yards or (ii) squaring the ball to Wrighty he did what any reasonable man would do and shot, deceiving the keeper and nestling the ball in. Saints 1 – Borough Green 1, Nick Watson 3 – Tom Wright 0. Credit to Herbertez, earning his keep by making great use of the new rolling subs to keep the team fresh.
We were tied going down the home straight, who had the nerve?
Previous Saints teams might have backed off but this lot went for it in their opponents’ back yard. With a little bit of basic maths, and reverting to tried and test methods, they realised that law of averages states that at some point a long throw will end up in a goal. And sure enough 2 minutes later Saints were in the lead as Herbert II, looking to extend his record of unbeaten headers, climbed to knock in a ball which had been pitched up onto the dancefloor, sending a couple of people on the sidelines in raptures.
The game picked up pace and there was still time for more action. The opposition number 8 was penalised for etiquette contrary to the spirit of the game, picking up a booking despite Muzz being nowhere to be seen. Juan Herbertez, seeking to add some steel (if not agility) to the defence, promptly did so by bringing a Crane on to the field. Attacks still flowed and Saints had a great opportunity to wrap it up as they broke on the left with men over. The ball came out to Jenkinson who only needed find Wrighty at the back post but came up one club short and found their centre back, much to the disbelief of the apoplectic / eggers Herbert II.
Saints began to sit very deep and invited Borough Green on to them but in the end held on without too much concern. A game that would have been lost 12 months ago had ended in 3 points and the long drive home to get some butter on a piece of bread.
Final score: Saints win 2 & 1.