Waverley Academy 5 of 5

5. Glossary of Waverley Words and Phrases


A

B
• “Benchmark” – high standard to which all Waverley fielders are supposed to live up to, usually set early on in the match by a good piece of fielding from the Captain. Predominantly used ironically, after the Captain somehow missed the ball when attempting to field the same.

• “Brap brap” – used to display your credentials as a gentleman from the hood. E.g. “I went out with Raoul and the Heath End Massive last night... brap brap”.

• “Business” – key word in the second clause of any sentence where the first clause describes completing any task. E.g. “you take care of the kids; I’ll take care of the business” / “we’ll take care of the fielding, Teabag can take care of the business”.

C
• “Century” – also known as a ton. The result of a batsman miscalculating and failing to get himself out before scoring 100 (see “jug evasion”).
• “Cutting loose” – a batsman engages in some expansive stroke play – see also “give it some tap”.

D
• “Did it carry?” – helpful, yet delicate question asked when the unfortunate bowler has just been dispatched for a huge six into an adjoining field.

E

F
• “F & G” – stock phrase of encouragement to a slow bowler, e.g. “great F & G Bertie.” Commonly used after any delivery that hasn’t disappeared over the rope for four or six.
• “Five wicket haul” – the result of a bowler miscalculating and failing to pick up an injury before taking five wickets (see “jug evasion”).

G
• “Give it some tap” – instructions to a batsman to swing the willow during a run chase, or a suggestion that the batsman should stop playing such a boring innings. E.g. “Mog/Rafa, give it some tap”.

• “Good use of the [insert body part]” – used to call attention to the fact that a fielder has stopped the ball with some other part of his anatomy, rather than fielding the ball correctly with the hands God gave him.

H
• “Hat-trick ball” – what every Waverley bowler dreams of. Two wickets in successive deliveries with the opportunity for a third and a chance to win the adulation of your team mates. The third delivery is usually slung down leg-side. See “jug evasion”.

I

J
• “Jim Jam” – see “oaf”.
• “Jug evasion” – for as long as the noble tradition of buying a jug to celebrate achievements (e.g. 50s, 100s, five wickets etc) has existed, the equally noble tradition of jug evasion has been present alongside it. A batsman counts his way to approximately 48 or 49 before getting himself out to avoid spending money at the bar. A bowler will take four wickets and mysteriously pick up an injury.

K

L
• “Livid” – to be furiously angry. E.g. "Teabag is livid with cricket".

M
• “Manual” – coaching text that, despite its fictional nature, all Waverley players are expect to be familiar with. Contains a wealth of information on how to bat, bowl and field in a technically correct manner. E.g. “where will I find that catching style in the manual?” (usually addressed to MC).

N

O
• “Oaf” – see “Jim Jam”.
• “Ohhhh noooo” – appropriate phrase where something hasn’t quite gone to plan. Must be said whilst affecting a heavy Yorkshire accent.

P

Q

R
• “Recalibrate” – suggestion to a bowler that he should realign his radar before continuing his over.
• “RSVP” – from French, meaning “please respond”. Perfect advice to a bowler who has just seen a God-awful delivery smeared to the boundary.

S

T
• “TMC” – thinking man’s cricketer (because Waverley love it when a plan comes together).

U

V

W

X

Y
• “Yips” – clinical diagnosis. Condition that has affected all Waverley bowlers at some stage.

Z