After three narrow losses, Hussain informed his charges that whereas he normally prized a good close game and getting everyone involved more than the result, he would in the present circumstances be eschewing this approach and going for an all out annihilation. Rather unfortunately, this tongue in cheek remark was made within earshot of the opposing captain standing as umpire, prompting a hasty disclaimer that we were joking, no, really.

Most of the brain cells honed by 7 years of Cambridge education have sadly been killed off by alcohol in the intervening years, but there were just enough remaining for the skippers forensic skills to deduce that the opposition were probably on the weak side, given (a) Frimley had failed to raise a side for their first game and been shot out for 60 in their second, (b) they had one colt and a series of middle aged men, and (c) they had won the toss and chosen to field on a hot day. The latter decision also gave Hussain his preferred outcome of batting first if possible but it not being his fault if it goes wrong.

Go wrong it very nearly did, however. With an excellent Milford deck (nobody tell the 3s), a quick outfield and weakish opposition, it was high time for the likes of Rohan Kumar and KK to get maiden fifties and for us to rack up some serious runs, but this undoubted potential translated into a scorecard of about 33/4 after 8 overs, and thunderous expression on the captains face that was ripe to vaporise the roof tiles on the pavilion. Dhanush, having been palpably lbw the week before trying to sweep a straight ball from a slow elderly dobber, essayed the same shot to the to what might have been the first ball of the match and departed in the same fashion for a golden duck. At least he didn't get hit in the unmentionables this time, although perhaps if he had it would further reinforce that this might not be a percentage shot, and certainly without even having had a look at the bowling. Rohans first over went something like: big drive and miss at an out swinger, dot, big drive and miss at an out swinger, dot, big drive and miss at an out swinger, violent hack at a full toss that looped to mid on, who dropped it. Having had 4 narrow escapes did not deter him, and an over later he hacked another full toss to mid on who this time made no mistake.

We were two down for spit on a belter, so Hussain, who had had no choice but to watch the debacle as the standing umpire, hissed some furious instructions to KK and Oscar to get their heads down. To give them credit, they did try, and KK was positively comatose by his normal standards. An innings of 20 off 19 balls tells its own story, however, and after some calm blocks interspersed with rifling the ball to the boundary when it was there to hit, he was caught in two minds about whether to go after a shortish widish ball and poked it to short cover. Oscar also went the same way, but really did try to dig in and managed some excellent shots, so no blame attaches to him.

Very fortunately for us, the ultra talented Myles is also wise beyond his years, and proceeded to give the older kids a masterclass in how to compile an innings. With bowling that was rarely more than tidy, a good pitch and a fast outfield, he knew he didn't have to do more than just calmly play the ball on its merits and runs would come. Rahul also played sensibly in support, unfurling his beautiful cover drive for a couple of Proper Cricket Shot boundaries, before falling to a good in swinger. Debutant Archie was understandably nervous and despite having demonstrated an excellent eye in the nets, poked around for a few balls before a hooping inducker took his off stump.

A stand of 40 for the 7th wicket between Myles and his u14s colleague and King Edwards schoolmate Tom Harrison took us out of the embarrassment zone and towards a competitive total, with debutant Tom also showing huge nous and no little skill. Ben Amos also stuck around gamely, and with 8 or 9 overs remaining the skipper promoted himself above Happy Hitter Ali to hold up one end in support of Myles. This saw us past 140 before Myles was finally allowed to have some well earned fun, carting about 20 off the last two overs.

The overall result was still no more than par for the pitch and outfield, but it proved more than enough for a brittle Frimley line up. The extra runs added by the partnership between Myles and Ahmed proved far less consequential than Alis fury at being demoted to no 11. He came steaming down the slope and was in all honesty just too quick for the poor openers, with several balls nearly carrying Oscar with them to the boundary as the ball thudded into his gloves at head height. KK proved he does have a cricket brain ( just not when batting) by correctly surmising that Ali was going just a bit too straight and that would have the batsmen nicking off if he got the ball a touch wider into the channel, and took a fine slip catch when the snick duly came. Two pinpoint Yorkers in a row blew away another two batsmen and left Ali on a hat trick that he only narrowly failed to get. Ben also bowled really well up the slope and got a well deserved scalp of his own, earning the skippers admiration and more importantly some valuable points for his fantasy cricket team.

Frimley were 4 down for not many inside the first few overs, which should have put us firmly in charge of the match, although there was the slight nagging feeling that we had been in much the same position. Luckily there was only one Haarhoff in the game and he was playing for us. The skipper had intended to get him a proper bowling stint as well, but with Frimley already struggling opted for mercy, and withdrew Ali in favour of an extended maiden spell for Archie, who almost unbelievably has only ever played in the nets before and was in his first proper match. He was understandably a little nervous but interspersed the comedy bad balls with the sharp, quick leg breaks he purveys in the nets and that have the potential to inconvenience some decent players in the near future. He grabbed a hugely celebrated first scalp in time honoured leg spinning style, however, taking a wicket with a pie. Whilst he was fortunate that the batsman missed a long hop, there was nothing lucky about the Jaffa that followed, bowling a second batsman in a row and leaving us on the second hat trick ball of the innings.

At the other end, Tom showed why he is the leading wicket taker in his age group, with a beautifully controlled spell of off spin that started in spectacular fashion with a first ball slapped to KK at short cover. The captain wistfully eyed up the sharp turn on offer but decided (again) not to bowl himself and offer Rohan a chance to redeem himself with the ball. The spell never got started, alas, as KK blew away the tail in short order, including a Gatting Ball that flicked the off bail and required an extended conference between umpires to confirm that the batsman had indeed been bowled.

Man of the Match, nominated by the Frimley Skipper: Myles Haarhoff (of course) for his 76*. A bit more support and it could have been a ton, but its only a matter of time. Urgent research is required into a procedure that can extract his temperament into some form of medicine that can be administered to some of the other batters. Preferably in suppository form.