About Us 4 of 5

4. Pen Pictures - awaits update for 2016/17


Ian `Penders` Pendry – A serving Police Officer and an outstanding Player for the Met in yesteryear. His claim to fame is scoring the goal that took the Met into the FA Cup 1st Round in 1993.... and the fact he was ex manager John Cottam`s favourite player. His party piece is his own little `jig / dance` when he used to score........a very rare sight but he may treat us to it tonight. Has a craving for Mars bars in every game.

Paul Burnell – Took up position as assistant `player` manager this season. He is now way beyond veteran stage as his hairline demonstrates, but a very experienced and competent defender. Nicknamed `Butler` he is equally comfortable at centre half or right back but despite claims he is a better goalscorer than first team coach Phil Cramp, we refuse to play him at centre forward. He runs the dressing room fine system making good use of his accountancy profession. Perpetually wears flip flops to every game whatever the weather.

Sam Barker - Physio - A very `sweet` girl who can deliver a mean strapping however maybe some of them should be above the jaw line on some of our squad ! A reliable physio who has worked for the club for 4 years. She can be relied upon to bring sweets and chocolates onto the bench for most games. Currently waiting to start her training as a Police Officer.


Brannon Daly – Promising goalkeeper aged 17. Joined Met Police September 2012 and spent first part of the season with the reserves but last couple of months has been on the bench with the first team. Recently passed his driving test which has pleased his dad no end.

Tom McNeil – Currently training as a Police Officer and rejoined Met Police FC in March. Spent first part of the season with us and was on the bench for FA Cup game against Crawley Town. Left and played for Leatherhead for a while but returned and has played well recently. Likes to avoid any yellow goalkeepers shirts as they clash with his `strawberry blonde` hair.

Steve Noakes - Commanding & experienced Central Defender aged 32 which makes him a senior statesman in this team. Joined Met Police FC at the start of 2010 / 2011 season and was a member of Div 1 South championship winning team. Captained Fleet Town for several seasons and previous clubs include AFC Newbury & Hartley Wintney. Keen fitness advocate aside from the odd `tab` before the game.

Matt Cornish – Nicknamed `Mash` he came through our youth team in the last two seasons. Versatile player who can play anywhere and has done so far aside from in goal.......until tonight ? Spent most of this season at left back and has now fortunately grown out of his red hair days. No longer dyes his hair but a great character with a dodgy tattoo somewhere.

Steve Flinn –Serving Police officer whose appearances this season have been limited due to operational reasons. He has represented English & British Police. Even older than Paul Burnell but has lots more hair and better ball skills apparently. Central midfielder who can play behind the front man....he claims ! He gets slated for playing Kings of Leon in the dressing room before a game, but the younger players now own the ipod !

Oliver Barrett – A Police Community Support Officer in South West London who turned 25 last weekend, which makes him almost a veteran in this squad. He has been unlucky not to appear more this season and is an accomplished central defender. He has the second worst taste in music in the dressing room and has been known to tease forthcoming opponents on twitter. You will need a thesaurus & dictionary to decipher his tweets !

Phil Dexter – Another one of the older and more experienced members of the team and despite the looks he is older than Paul Burnell. A versatile player and is equally comfortable in defence or in midfield but not up front. Replaced Paul Burnell as the leading scorer in an under 12`s team a decade or so ago. He works at a school in Hounslow teaching physical fitness so he should last ninety minutes despite his age.

Matt Cefai – A serving police officer in South West London & I am reliably informed by some who are `experts` that he is the `fittest` bloke in the side. Another one of the senior members of the squad. A tireless hard working forward and he has represented English & British Police. One of the last out for any warm up or training session but one of the first in front of the mirror. If only he would score more goals but comfortably top of the assists chart.

Jordan Bird – Another graduate from the youth team in the last two seasons. He has been in the first team squad on several occasions this season but injury has prevented him progressing. He has two good feet but most at home anywhere on the left. Tends to score dramatic goals from anywhere outside the penalty area with either foot. He has his name on his underwear and is sadly`idolised` by junior members of the team. A lovely player & person to have in the dressing room & one of the characters.

Lloyd Nwag – Almost reaching veteran status in our squad at the age of 26 and a competitive central midfielder. He has been with the club for a couple of seasons now and previously played at Chipstead FC. Not renowned as a goalscorer but he has improved his timekeeping in reporting for games to the extent that his fines have declined and our end of season do is no longer sponsored by Lloyd. Heartbeat of the midfield.

Alex Harlington - Joined MPFC this season and has just turned 18. A very promising young footballer with two great feet and an eye for goal. Likes playing behind the front man and running at defenders. He has recently been included with the first team squad and should progress well next season.

Bobby Bennett – Another graduate from our youth scheme aged 19 and broke into the reserve team at the latter part of last season. Occasionally a prolific goalscorer and at time of writing is Suburban League Premier A leading scorer. Prefers to play as a striker but has played wide for most of this season. One of the quieter ones in the dressing room but a pleasure to have in the side and does his talking with the ball.

Hanif Boyle - Joined MPFC this season and is aged 19. Another player who prefers to play as a striker but has played wide for the reserves and has featured in the first team during this season. Good technical footballer with the ball at his feet and another who loves to run at defenders but would help if he remembered to take the ball with him on some occasions. Does his talking on the pitch like Bobby does.

Eden O`Shea – Joined MPFC this season and is aged 18. Son of a serving police officer and is a stylish centre half who likes to play football. He has figured in some first teams squads this season and is looking to progress for next year. Recently started work for a law firm that has limited his mid week availability.

George Mead - A member of our youth team this season and is aged 17. He has deservedly broken into the reserve team in recent months and is a tough hard working midfield player with a powerful shot. Totally reliable and calm headed who will always give total effort.

Kristian Childs - Another member of this years youth team and has only recently turned 17. He waited patiently for his opportunity and grabbed it with both feet and his head by scoring a hat trick on his debut off the bench in February in just 20 minutes. He has continued his rich scoring vein from the subs bench but now needs to impact more when he starts. Worryingly, he sees Jordan Bird as his playing idol and between the two of them they would challenge any Mensa candidate.

Courtney Asiedu - He is aged just 18 and has pressed for a reserve team place most of this season from the youth team. A skilful, pacey winger who loves to play wide and run at defenders and has more tricks than `dynamo`. Should consider working for a mobile phone company so he has enough credit on his phone. Another quiet one in the dressing room but a promising young player.